Carl Russington

Investigative Reporter

Rumors were spreading about some strange creatures wandering the garbage piles near the Zynadium mines just west of the capital of Bimbarimbo. Nearby is a Bio-genetic lab run by international POKPOK corporation. I got suspicious so I looked them up on the G. There it was, a job posting. I applied and started my first undercover investigative mission.

Details are sketchy but sources say it is run by Austrian geneticist Aldorf Kückenschnupfer. In his laboratory near the Picachaca river the Professor was experimenting with Zynadium, a radioactive material mined in a nearby village. The villagers, famed for their large hands, are concerned as the river has recently turned pink and smells of jelly donuts. One local fisherman caught a fish with hairy legs and there have been numerous sightings of colorful looking creatures lurking near the dump.

Illegal experiments

Documents and recordings found at the now abandoned lab are raising a lot of questions. Videos of the professor dancing nude and arguing with a chicken are unsettling. But most concerning is the existence of these unidentified creatures. Some flying around, others crawling between eggs and wriggling cocoons. The lab was full of clunk-clacking machines and wires and pipes leaking a wretched purple ooze. Something rotten is going on here.

Project Nacho

Documents found on the property mention ’Project Nacho’. Although the info is incomplete, here is what we know. Professor Kückenschnupfer has a pet chicken named Nacho. Apparently she gobbles up anything he fed her: corn, scraps, bits of drywall, secret documents and the labs’ biochemical and radioactive waste. According to villagers, the professor continually talked about the wondrous eggs that Nacho started laying and what a “magical Zynadium glow” they had. Although the Professor had a reputation for being friendly it’s unknown if anyone else has ever entered his lab.

Kückenschnupfer still at large

The experiment had been going on for over three years and some of the eggs have hatched over time. Professor Kückenschnupfer lovingly refers to them as chicken-puppies. Most of them are still in their shells. Some of the hatchling creatures seen are as small as a gerbil while others grown about the size of a pangolin.

Despite global health concerns, the government is looking the other way. International police are having a hard time tracking down the professor and Nacho the chicken who apparently fled into the jungle to find more exotic animal DNA to use in his laboratory. Scientists around the world are puzzled and worried. These unethical experiments go against all biological laws and extensive studies are needed to find out how it will affect our ecosystem.


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